Modern Family actress Sarah Hyland has revealed she was "very close" to taking her own life after her health struggles left her suffering from depression. "I would write letters in my head to loved ones - of why I did it, my reasoning behind it, how it's nobody's fault". I didn't want to write it down on paper because I didn't want anybody to find it. "That's how serious I was".
"It ended up being myself that got me out of that", the actress shared.
"I was very, very, very close", Hyland told DeGeneres.
"So I texted him being like, 'You need to come out to L.A.by the end of the week, or this is never gonna happen, '" she told Ellen.
However, she was keen to point out that while it worked for her, she understands everyone with depression handles it differently.
"Just saying it out loud helped immensely because I kept it to myself for months and months at a time. You can just talk to me'".
The actress continued, "When I said it out loud, they were like, 'Oh, you need to see a therapist, ' and that's when I was like, 'Ok, I don't think you're going to help me".
Now, nearly two years on from the second procedure, the star is feeling much better and can now enjoy her life, including vacations to Mexico with her boyfriend Wells Adams.
"Were you really close to doing that?"
But finally a friend advised her to seek therapy - and Hyland said just the process of articulating how hopeless she felt helped her. The good thing about being stable, health-wise, and having an incredible significant other is that now I'm able to travel more.
Throughout it all, Hyland remained working on Modern Family (she was written out of some episodes so that she could recover comfortably).
Hyland told the magazine she doesn't know why the organ gifted to her by her father didn't take properly. "I didn't want anyone to know I was that close because if I knew, they would try to persuade me".
While Hyland made sure she to express she does't have all the answers, she did encourage depressed individuals with suicidal thoughts to vocalize them.
And now, nearly two years on from the second procedure, the four-time SAG Award victor says she's feeling much better and can now enjoy her life, including vacations to Mexico with her boyfriend of over a year, Bachelor in Paradise's Wells Adams. Hyland thanks the cast and her "amazing support system" for helping her through some of her trying times.