It's an illness, a cancer of the mind.
He's good with where he is now: "I am pleased I went through debilitating depression because I now have the skills to fight it".
He also opened up about dealing with dyslexia and undiagnosed ADD as a child, saying, "I'm not criticizing the system. I am a huge believer in this and Ella has done so much for me". "All colour and emotion had leached out of my world and everything was grey and monotone". You exist without objective or direction.
"I also felt misunderstood; a complete failure". I wouldn't wish the sense of worthlessness and desperation, the isolation and loneliness on my worst enemy.
He was able to keep the symptoms at bay with medication, but that affected his social life as he was only going through the motions - never talking to his friends anymore, only working and achieving nothing at all.
James Middleton's Instagram might bring you the joy you need in 2019.
James Middleton says he knows he lives a privileged life, but "it did not make me immune to depression".
Noting his royal connections as one of the reasons he has chosen to speak out now, Middleton acknowledges the work of his sister and in-laws Princes Harry and William as catalysts for his sharing.
James also explained why he didn't seek help from his family at the time, "You may wonder why I didn't confide in them, but those who are closest to you are the hardest to speak to".
In addition, James felt compelled to follow the lead of his sister Kate, brother-in-law Prince William and Prince Harry, who have been strong advocates for mental health.
James says he sees his "ADD as a gift: it accounts for my creativity and emotional intensity".
"They believe we can only tackle the stigma associated with mental illness if we have the courage to change the national conversation, to expel its negative associations". "So it wouldn't be honest to suppress my story". "I write a list of ten things I want to do each day".
In June 2017, James took a trip to Stockholm, Sweden.